Thursday, June 26, 2008
Today is not officially end of my exams but it's somehow a relief...went to watch "Get Smart" with fanni, peggy and nana...it's a funny show...the rock[dwayne johnson] is soooo macho and handsome...!!!the papers has passed and i would not want to think about it anymore...it just...spoils my mood somehow...today during the paper i was thinking about other things...got distracted and got stuck with my own saliva...then i was pulled back to reality...
i did not know how to do so i looked outside the window and my thoughts start wondering about what wwj told mi in the morning when i saw him on the way to school...damn...i know i shouldn't be like this but this is soooo stuck with mi...if i don't get it settled i think i may just screw everything and everybody up...my projects have not even started but others is on the way through...i want to get back my focus...i need to...
I'm very temperate these days...i realize i rely on my feelings now...without planning i can just go to a place for no reason...to think of it it's not the mi i know...i don't really have mood swings because my mood is always swinging in the same zone of emotions...i'm on the verge of killing anyone that provoke mi and sending them out of this world...i know it's not good...but i have to warn my friends...don't try and do any dangerous attempt to provoke mi...i may/most probably not respond what i am suppose to or what you think i would...
my mind now is not in a mess...it's just that i tend to 钻牛角尖...which i don't really do because my mind is not function to do that...yesterday i had nothing to do i was thinking about something and i came to realize that i have basically nothing to worry about myself...i always worry about the surroundings-my friends/my family[especially my sister]...not say they give mi a lot of problem but i will be bothered if they have problems not solved...i want to help them, but they never tell mi...i know my words always doesn't go into their minds because most of my thinking are way too different or too unique...and they consider that as nagging and put it aside...is the way that i express my thinking wrongly or it's just that they don't want to accept...?i know i don't put feelings into thinking because they are totally different things...i know that it is your choice of not accepting my thinking...but can you at least show that you are listening...?sometimes i wonder...how much i say get into your minds...after the talk how much you think about my thoughts about the issue...how much really gets into you...?i know sometimes i may be a little forceful but it's just that i stay firm on my stand and nothing can influence mi...if you try to you'll just hit the wall...it's useless to mi...never mind...what i say doesn't matter anyway...so what for say so much...?sometimes i think this way but i still hope that out of so much i say, somethings may get into you...that's why i still say[or rather nag] so much...
okay...i think i should stop...it's getting more and more complicating...and lastly what i want to say is friends, please don't not let mi know what has been happening to you...because i'll be worried...at least somethings...let mi know...or perhaps we're not as close anymore...or maybe we are not close in the first place...[come to mention i think it's the first time i type so much English in my post]