very bored...really bored...by the way i found out that the movie L is going down soon enough...tomorrow is the last screenings...we are not able to watch it...saddening enough...*sobs* these days i feel like going to the cinemas...i want to watch sky of love...the story is so nice...then i want to watch waterhorse,the spiderwick chonicles,step up 2,......
there's a lot i want to watch...but the main thing is no money...i still need to use my pay to buy handphone and also pay back the shortage i mention in the last post...haiz...why is life so 'der' without money...
and also about the book i've been reading...it's like another book that i like...if anyone remembers...it's named "湖边有棵许愿树"...it's something similar to that...but it's a little better...maybe is because the stories inside are much more realistic and mostly are true...
i'm not good in describing...that's why i can't write narrative...but there are a lot of stories that gives mi a lot of...enlightenment?inspiration?i don't know how to explain...there are stories involving old people...i don't know why...the stories of the old always make mi feel like crying...
like i told someone[i think it's lingli]...i can cry just by watching mtvs...especially those involving old people...when i see the mv got story of old people i just feel like crying...some of the mvs that make mi cry are:S.H.E=我爱你，梁静如=崇拜，...got one song is also S.H.E's...it's the theme song for 天外飞仙 but i forgot the song name...that mv don't have old people...is the story of the show make mi cry when i listen to the song...
i know i'm really emotional...i don't really like to cry...but this kinda small things make mi cry easily...i really don't know why...crazy right...but in real life i don't cry easily...how to put it into words...i don't know...
i realise that i really don't know how to explain myself...but yet i know myself too well til i'm so afraid one day when i lost myself,i might just jump for it...others may want to know more about themselves,but for mi i hope i know less about myself...because when i know almost everything that's happening to mi emotionally,it makes it hard to handle and solve because i know myself too well...
for instance...i know when i'm in depression...i know when's my mood swings...i know when i'm crazy whereby something drives mi into the path of madness...i know when i would like not to come in contact with people,......
but all these i can't avoid...just because i know it...i can't just act as if i don't know i have depression,wonder if i have or not...because i clearly know i have...!i have to surpress all these inside myself and when the moment i can't control them and lose myself...that's when i have the courage to do things that i would never do...
i think the time have not reached yet...and it may not be soon too...because i know my limits is not only like that...i have more than what it takes to last longer in this world...i can't just leave everything like that...
okay...enough of my thoughts and i'm putting the potenial anime song below because i feel that i still like "rainy night" better...haha=]
